Known to be a typical Geordie who wears her heart on her sleeve I have always been honest while writing my blog. I don't profess to be an expert bag designer/maker (I make plenty of mistakes) or that I am at all perfect (dear lord no)......warts an' all as they say what you see is what you get with me.
Hot bath running (with bubbles), glass of wine to hand and feeling absolutely E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D.
Admitting that I am a tad bit stressed in the run up to the first of this years trade fairs would be me being totally honest. Up until now I have not been able to say that out loud with fear that I would implode on myself and turn into a heap of mush. I have to keep going as I am on the final stretch and I am certainly not giving up now!!!
If I can remember how to think rationally, I'm almost there, I have already completed a large chunk of the items I am taking. But somewhere along the line (as good as it is) I decided that I needed to move up a level, pushing myself that little (huge) step further. And today I think I have aged myself about 10 years ;) who knew that cutting out very gorgeous (and expensive) fabric to a new pattern, that I haste to add had not been trialed (I just don't have the time) would make me feel so nervous I thought I was going to be sick. If it all goes wrong and I have wasted time and fabric I think I might cry, as trivial as that may sound in comparison to what is going on in the world, everyone has a breaking point and I think that just might be mine.
I know I am being : irrational/drama queen/ridiculous (please feel free to choose any of these options) but I am putting it solely down to the fact I am soooooo tired. The day job, although being part time is still so mentally draining and having to do extra hours because of staff cuts has not helped matters.
Sitting in my studio holding metal 'O' rings and rectangle sliders and buckles for one second I thought "what are you doing? Are you crazy woman?" The stressed out side of me stood up proud and said "YES I AM!!" and then the rational Emma came out and said softly "Its OK, you can do this!"
I decided that the complicated sections need to be sewn together tomorrow when I am not so emotional/exhausted/cross eyed ;) fresh eyes as they say. Thank you for listening (well reading) to Crazyladee as she is known today. I promise I will have pulled myself together for my next post :D and hopefully will have mastered the art of bag making without unpicking too much stitching.